My Own Personal Set of Directions For The Life I Want.

You have two options: you do it, or you don't.

If you hate your job, quit. Find a new one.

If you don't like where you live, move. Find a new place to call home.

If you don't like a quality about yourself, change it. Put in the work.

I'm not saying it's easy. It all takes work and constant conscious effort to make changes in your life, but it is possible. Don't get me wrong, you'll probably mess up, likely a few times. Trust me, right now I am really good at messing up, and I feel it.

I have a list in my room of all the things I want for myself, of all the changes I want for myself and for my life. It's pinned to my wall. I look at it every day before work. I try and consciously make choices that will put me in the direction of the things on that list. I had one during 2021 but recently made a new one to recenter myself and to reevaluate what really matters to me.

This list is my own personal set of directions to the life that I want. All I have to do is follow them. Easy...not.

I saw a meme the other day that said "nobody likes you when you're 23," and later I found out it's actually a blink-182 lyric (I know, I know #GenZProblems). Now more than ever I feel that. While my intentions are to meet the goals on list and I do put effort into them, it's easy to get distracted. You know, with parties, nights out, and impulsive decisions... which brings me back to my point: you either do it, or you don't.

My best friend and I often discuss that we are grateful that we are do it people. We both wanted to move across the country, we did it. We wanted to spend a weekend in Las Vegas, we planned it and we went. We say what we're going to do and where we're going to go, and we do it. In fact we're planning a trip to Utah in August, and I have no doubt in my mind that we'll go.

You know those people who talk about all the things they're going to do and all the trips they're going to take? Then this time next year they're still in the same spot talking about the same things and the same trips. That's what I'm talking about, lip service people.

At this point I am really feeling like one of them. I've recently found myself doing a lot of talking and not a lot of doing. Sometimes I think it's easy to take all the things you have going for you and forget about your fatal flaws, your achilles heel. The real personal growth happens when you identify those things and work on them. That's my goal, that's on my list. Strengthen that achilles heel.

I suppose I don't really have a point while I sit here writing this other than to work through the anxiety coursing through my body. I guess this is a long winded way of telling myself to refocus and follow that set of directions for the life I want with actions instead of words and everything will work out the way it's supposed to.

I have always been a do it person and I intend on getting back to it... well here I go, talking instead of doing... I'll just leave this word vomit here and I'll check back in after a few months when I, as Nike says best "Just Do It."